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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26343499">Don't you leave me right here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie'>PerriewinkleNerdie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Open Heart (Visual Novels)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:46:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,453</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26343499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He finally confesses his feelings, taking care of her as much as he can</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't you leave me right here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi guys! ARE WE ALIVE? PB DELIVERED, PERIOD. I haven't felt this on the edge of my motherf'n seat. This fic is a rewrite of the diamond scene in Chapter 11 plus my own spin on it and the aftermath because I have no self control.<br/>Enjoy! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ethan’s eyes haven’t left hers since he entered the room. Now, sitting next to her, she could see, clearer than ever, the desperation and panic, etched into them deeply, following him like a shadow. Her words had a clear effect on him, shocking him into silence, drawing the quietness around them out into what seemed to be infinity. When he spoke again, his voice was heavy with emotions, but his eyes were still firmly focused on her, never straying, holding all of his hopes and dreams.</p>
<p>“Since we’re sharing regrets, do you mind if I share one of mine?”</p>
<p>The question took her by surprise. Ethan was never a man to openly express his feelings, or regrets for that matter, and she could almost <em>feel</em> the change in his behavior, in his approach to the situation they were currently in, as though fate gave him a sudden shove into the direction he was eyeing for quite some time now, but was too terrified to pursue.</p>
<p>“Go ahead.” Claire nodded slowly, her movements expressing how tired and sore she felt, toxin draining her faster than any of them anticipated. He took her bare hand into his gloved one, deep regret striking him painfully when he didn’t feel her skin upon contact. The electricity he learned to anticipate, hell, welcome with every time they touched, wasn’t as intense, his brain relying on the memory of her closeness to induce the same sensation.</p>
<p>“I wish I hadn’t asked you to stay away.” he admitted quietly, lowering his head in shame slightly. Her tired face twisted in confusion and surprise, taking in the new information, the one she was waiting for, the words she wanted to hear so many times before.</p>
<p>“You do?”</p>
<p>“We’ve wasted so much time.” Ethan paused, his eyes becoming a shade darker to accommodate his growing shame and pain. Shaking his head, he rephrased. “<em>I’ve</em> wasted so much time.” His hold on her hand tightened, as though he could pass through it all that he was feeling. He was never good with his words when it came to her, only moments of brilliance here and there; she was always better at this than him. But now, he couldn’t run; he didn’t want to run. “I should have held you in my arms every single day and told you how much I-“</p>
<p>His voice broke. Unable to bring himself to say a word, he took a deep breath, searching her green eyes for anything that would tell him that she would make it, that it wouldn’t be the last time they were talking, that he would have the opportunity to do this properly. She deserved to be confessed to properly, not when fear was running through his veins and panic was making him talk like he’s never talked before.</p>
<p>“How much I care about you.”</p>
<p>A bright smile lit up her face, and to Ethan, she looked as though the whole massacre of the past day didn’t happen. To him, she was as beautiful as ever. Her fingers squeezed his in excitement, dimmed by the lack of energy. “I’ve always thought we should be together.”</p>
<p>“You have?” he chuckled, running his thumb over her knuckles. She nodded, grinning like she always did.</p>
<p>“Kind of thought it was obvious, actually. We were always drawn to each other, from day one.”</p>
<p>“I’d hate to presume anything.” He felt himself relaxing, falling into the comfort of their day to day bickering, feeling like he was coming home. And in a sense, he was. Somewhere between him trying to run from her and now, they built a safe place for one another, without realizing it, always being pulled towards each other in times of need. “Though… that feeling was very definitely mutual.”</p>
<p>Ethan’s hold on her hand became tighter, expressing his excitement. The smile that lit up his face must have been the biggest she’s ever seen to this date; he’s never been happier than in that exact moment. Claire’s face fell in disappointment, longing spelled out all over it. “I wish I could kiss you.”</p>
<p>“Soon. You will soon.” He promised, partly to her, and partly to himself, making himself swear to never let her get away again. Guilt was eating him alive, driving him mad, making him want to kick himself for being a fool for so long. “Claire? What’s wrong?” he immediately asked when he saw her expression change into a pensive one once more.</p>
<p>“It just hit me that Rafael might be the last real human contact I ever get to have, not through plastic.” She took the plastic surrounding his wrist between her two fingers, rubbing the material between them. His head told him to reassure her, but his heart couldn’t stand to be that far away from her, even if the suit was still separating them.</p>
<p>He moved from his chair, sitting down next to her, and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her to him; not as close as he’d like, but it would have to do. “Look at me.” he said, trying to keep his voice level, letting the emotions take control after some time. Their eyes met, same emotions reflected in them. “You can’t think like that. You can’t give up.”</p>
<p>His soft gaze made her feel as though she could almost touch him, through all the layers of thick plastic. Rip apart the barriers that kept them away from each other, hold onto him and never let him go again.</p>
<p>“But I can kiss you… sort of.” her voice was raspy when she said those words, her hand already raising his until she could press her lips to his knuckles, shielded away from her. He cupped her chin, stroking the line of her cheekbone with his thumb tenderly. He muttered her name, softly and quietly, trying to find the words for the impossible situation they’ve found themselves in, but found none.</p>
<p>With his hold on her never wavering, he maneuvered them into the horizontal position, allowing her head to rest, her eyelids drooping against her will slightly. Their gazes were still locked, like they were since the moment he stepped inside her realm of isolation, and they remained that way until she fell deeper into his embrace, nuzzling her face against his chest with a ragged breath.</p>
<p>“I’m glad I at least got to hold you one last time…” she muttered, inhaling the clean scent of the room they were in. His hold on her tightened, expressing how much he wanted to be confident in his own words.</p>
<p>“This isn’t the last time, Claire. I promise you that.”</p>
<p>--------------</p>
<p>He was right. In the morning, her friends arrived with the cure, and hours later, she was showered and recovering in her very own, new and clean, room, taking every opportunity she had to rest. Her flatmates came by, but couldn’t stay for long, with their shifts starting soon. One person that was by her side every moment he could, was Ethan.</p>
<p>He visited her more times than a boss checking up on his colleague would be deemed appropriate, but he didn’t care. When he asked Sienna, earning himself a teasing grin from her in the process, he learned that none of their coworkers noticed or cared about him and Claire being close, the information being the last push he needed to spend as much time with her as he could or wanted.</p>
<p>The first time he visited, he lingered in the doorframe, watching her with a vulnerable and timid smile. She turned her head at the feeling of a slight heat on the side of her face, her eyes brighter at the sight of him. She beckoned him to sit next to her, neither of them saying anything yet.</p>
<p>His hand was shaking when he took hers gently, unable to believe that they were able to touch each other again, that she made it through and that they still had a chance. After last night, not much was left unsaid and they both knew where their feelings were placed. They still had a long way to go, but Ethan was ready to take the leap, follow her wherever she wanted to take him.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?” he asked, tangling and detangling their fingers nervously. Claire stretched a bit, sitting up in her bed.</p>
<p>“I’m much better now. Headache is letting up too.” He placed his other hand on her forehead, his cool skin meeting her slightly warmer one. A small moan escaped her lips as her eyes fell shut. “Now that is perfect.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?” he laughed, looking at her with utmost adoration. She nodded, breathing in and out deeply. When she gazed at him again, their faces were much closer than she remembered them to be. Her first instinct was to lean away, expecting him to do the same, as they were in the hospital and anyone could walk in on them. Their only ally was the fact that the room didn’t have a window, so one would have to open the door to actually see what was happening inside.</p>
<p>But he didn’t do that. After coming so close to losing her, every moment with her felt precious, and he had every intention of savoring it. The heat of her body, the scent of her shampoo, the comfort of simply talking to her and being by her side. Yesterday’s Ethan Ramsey would keep his distance and maintain a professional front, even if it hurt him. The new Ethan Ramsey simply didn’t care anymore. Or, rather, he cared more than he used to be able to admit. He’s spent past months wallowing in regret and drowning in endless ocean of what-ifs. To say that he was tired of his own rules would be an understatement.</p>
<p>Ethan pressed a soothing kiss to the inside of her wrist, whispering softly, his voice full of pain. “You don’t even know…” he trailed off, his voice breaking for a split second before he composed himself again, taking a deep breath to ground himself.</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>It became their routine. For the next five days, she would wake up just in time to see him walking through the door, two steaming cups in his hands, one coffee and one tea. Once she was cleared to eat normal food again, he also began bringing meals he’s spent every evening and half of his nights making, both of them talking quietly while eating.</p>
<p>“You’re going to spoil me too much with all this delicious food. How am I supposed to move back to eating instant ramen?” she gasped dramatically, her grin growing even wider when he smirked.</p>
<p>“You could always eat dinner with me. I wouldn’t complain.” He pointed out, words leaving his lips before his mind could filter them. He really wouldn’t mind if she agreed to spend more time with him. His own bold words made a wave of excitement run down his spine, endorphins rushing through his bloodstream. Her eyebrow shot up teasingly, making him sweat for her answer until, eventually, she nodded, so happy she could probably emit light.</p>
<p>“Is that a date, then?” her voice betrayed how nervous but hopeful she was. The same euphoric expression appeared on his face, just like it did a few nights ago; he decided, right then and there, that he’s been longing to feel like this for a long time. Since the moment the thought of them being together became a possibility, in fact. This feeling of fullness, of being exactly where he wanted to be.</p>
<p>“It’s whatever you want it to be, Claire. Though, I won’t lie, I would very much like to take you out on a proper date once you’re fully recovered.” He kissed her cheek, his eyes holding the streak of vulnerability when he leaned away. “And I’d like to be there for you in the meantime.”</p>
<p>They both visibly relaxed, tension leaving their bodies as they fell into their each other’s arms, the embrace warm, as tight as he dared to hold her given the circumstances, carrying the desperation that seemed to still have them in its hold.</p>
<p>“I’d like that very much.” she muttered, her words muffled by the material of his white coat, pressed against her lips.</p>
<p>------------</p>
<p>“Dr. Trinh, may I speak to you?” he called out, probably a bit louder than he should, a few interns stopping in their tracks, terrified and feeling sorry for the resident. Sienna, however, kept her face neutral as she followed the attending to his office, observing his face carefully, trying to decipher what could this possibly be about. As soon as the door closed and he got visibly got nervous, she had her answer.</p>
<p>“How are things going with Claire?” she asked lightly, cocking her head to the side when his gaze hardened for a second, coming to his senses immediately after he remembered their conversation a few days back. He cleared his throat before answering.</p>
<p>“I’d like to believe they’re good. Going in the right direction too. That’s actually why I asked you here.” He guided her towards the seat by his desk, twisting his fingers anxiously. “Claire is getting discharged today. We talked about me picking her up, and she suggested staying at my apartment, but I think she’d be more comfortable in her out home, in her own bed. Surrounded by things she knows.”</p>
<p>“No offense, Dr. Ramsey, but I’m pretty sure she knows your apartment pretty well too.” She giggled when a furious blush started creeping up his neck, unable to disagree with what she said. “But besides that, what is it that you’re asking me here?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to be an inconvenience to you, and I’ll understand if you’re unable to help me, but I thought I’d ask.” He stumbled over his words, the whole premise causing him to lose the ability to think clearly. “Would it be possible for Claire and I to- uh…”</p>
<p>“Watching you stumble over your words is an unusual sight, I must say. Are you asking me if we could spend the night somewhere else so that the two of you could have the freedom to talk?” she made it easier for him, sensing his cry for help in the way he talked.</p>
<p>“Yes.” He blurted out, shocked at his own forwardness. “There are some things we need to discuss. I just want her to be as comfortable as possible.”</p>
<p>“We just so happen to have wanted a sleepover at Bryce’s place. What a coincidence, huh?” she smiled enigmatically, then took her phone and sent the message to the rest of her flatmates excluding Claire. Minutes later they had their answer. “We’ll leave the house at six thirty. Claire has the keys. Good luck, Dr. Ramsey.”</p>
<p>He breathed a sigh of relief, smiling to himself as he fell deeper into his chair. All that was left to do was get through the rest of the day, get her discharged and hope for the best.</p>
<p>------------</p>
<p>“Come on, let’s get you home.” He greeted her, waving a stack of papers in his hand. Claire’s eyes widened in excitement, swinging her legs over the side of the bed almost immediately.</p>
<p>“You’re kidding.”</p>
<p>“When do I ever joke, Dr. Herondale.” His features hardened momentarily, only to melt into the teasing smile right after.</p>
<p>“Ooh, so serious and professional.” she joked, walking over to him slowly. Her hand brushed against his, sparks flying up their arms. “I haven’t been to your apartment in a while.”</p>
<p>“Actually, I’m taking you back to your place.” He picked up her bag, turning to look at her. Her mouth opened in surprise and confusion, unsure what he was talking about.</p>
<p>“I thought you wanted to keep an eye on me.” she muttered, her spirit falling as her hopes for the evening began to fall apart.</p>
<p>“I still intend to do that. I just think that you’d be more comfortable in your own space, your own home and bed.” Ethan felt his cheeks reddening, holding his breath while waiting for her answer.</p>
<p>“Are you sure that you want to spend the night with all my flatmates? I wouldn’t mind if it weren’t for the fact that I… kinda hoped to be alone with you.”</p>
<p>“Oh, really?” he smirked, wrapping his arm around her waist and pressing them against each other gently. “Then I guess it’s good that they’re sleeping at Bryce’s place tonight.” He watched how the corners of her lips went up and up, forming a charming smile, a quiet question hanging between them. “I asked Sienna if she could arrange it. I think she wants us to talk.”</p>
<p>“She does, I have no doubt about that.” Claire’s feet moved on their own, bringing her even closer to him, stopping just as they were breathing the same air. Her gaze strayed from his eyes to his lips, staring at them shamelessly. “Take me home, then.”</p>
<p>Ethan offered her his arm, a warm sensation spreading in his chest when he felt her touch, firm and trusting. Gripping the bag in his other hand, they moved towards the exit, making sure to leave her discharge papers at the nurse’s station.</p>
<p>He held her hand throughout the whole way to her apartment, and even when they walked towards the elevator, he still wouldn’t let her get too far away. There was an intense need in every move he made towards her; she noticed it on the very first day after she was cured. His touch was lingering, his hands gripping hers for a moment longer than usual. His gaze swallowed her whole. His kisses that never reached her lips, no matter how much both of them wanted it, were tender but with underlying strength to them, fueling them both for the next couple of hours until they would meet again.</p>
<p>Claire dug up her keys from her purse, opening the door to let them in. Ethan set the bag down on the floor next to the entrance to her room, turning to look at her. She remained by the front door, hands folded behind her back, looking at him with the intensity that made him fall apart. With each step she took towards him, his heartbeat got faster, his senses gained sharpness, tuning into her frequency.</p>
<p>“What’s your plan?” she asked, taking one of the buttons of his sweater into her grasp, rolling it between her fingers. It was a genuine question, but she would be lying if she said that she didn’t mean to tease him. They were like that, always toeing the line, crossing it over and over again.</p>
<p>“You’re in control here, Claire. You tell me.”</p>
<p>“I’d kill for a shower. I would ask you to make yourself comfortable but…” she stepped on her tiptoes, her lips a mere inch away from his ear. “… you can always join me.”</p>
<p>He almost choked on air, his breath kicked out of his lungs at her suggestion. She kissed his cheek, giggling when she leaned away, seeing his face slightly redder than before. Figuring out that, at least to some extent, she was teasing him, he relaxed a bit, running his hand up and down her arm. “You go ahead and do that, and I’ll try to think of something to cook.”</p>
<p>With that, they separated for the next thirty minutes. She left the door slightly open in case something happened, or they needed to talk, their strategy from Miami still working wonders. Ethan managed to get the food cooked and waiting for them in twenty minutes, deciding to wait for her, sitting on the couch and observing the sun that was barely visible over the horizon.</p>
<p>He’s thought in depth about what he wanted to tell her. He <em>knew</em> what he wanted to tell her, so many sleepless nights spent on thinking of her, or rather, trying <em>not</em> to think of her. There always was a part of him that knew that all his desperate attempts at keeping his distance, pushing her away and denying what was so obviously in front of him, would fall short. He refused to believe it at the time, but here he was now.</p>
<p>The sound of the door closing and soft footsteps on the floor pulled him back into reality. Just as he was turning his head to look at her, she sat down, straddling him, her hands on both sides of his face, and the next thing he knew, her lips were touching his in a heated kiss. Surprised only for a moment, he placed his hands just above her hips, kissing her back with as much desperation and fire. She had her many ways of stealing his breath, but this one was one of his favorites.</p>
<p>She lowered herself onto his lap even more, a soft sigh escaping her lips at the contact. Ethan tried to keep his reactions at bay, letting her take over, giving himself over to her just as much as he was taking from her. He could feel her smile, his head leaning back a bit when her fingers pulled on his strands, a helpless moan echoing in the air.</p>
<p>He wasn’t able to tell how much time has passed, losing himself in her completely. Moving his hands to her face, he brushed her hair away, their eyes locked tightly as they stared at each other in utter silence. Water was dripping from the strands of her blonde hair, soaking his sweater and the T-shirt she was wearing. Ethan only now noticed that it was strangely familiar.</p>
<p>“How did you get ahold of my T-shirt?” he laughed, welcoming the sight of her in his clothes with familiarity he didn’t know he longed for. It barely covered her thighs, in their current position the material being bunched up around her hips, exposing a bit of her panties to his touch when his hands were holding her in place.</p>
<p>“A girl’s gotta have her secrets.” She echoed her own words from the very first day they met, his eyes sparking up in recognition. “Besides, we both know I look better in it anyway.”</p>
<p>They enjoyed their dinner, conversing quietly about anything other than the past couple of days or work. Ethan wanted her to relax, not think about her workload (which was already taken care of) or the horrific circumstances that led to her needing her rest in the first place. Once they moved back to the couch, Ethan having changed into more comfortable clothes, the blanket covering their legs, the conversation continuing. The biggest manifest of how comfortable they were with one another was all written in their moves, his arm draped over the back of the couch, his fingers playing with her hair while she inspected the lines of his other hand absentmindedly.</p>
<p>Suddenly, his smile dimmed, his shoulders falling with his heavy breath. Claire caught onto it immediately, squeezing his wrist with an underlying question. He looked into her eyes, blue irises gaining depth as he prepared to tell her the very thing that’s been haunting him for days now.</p>
<p>“I can’t get rid of the panic that takes over my whole body and mind when we separate.” He confessed, searching for more words, trying to come up with a way to explain it better. She listened to him patiently, her touch firm and reassuring. “It sounds crazy now that I think about it, but I’m sure the feeling will only increase when we’re both back to work. Every time I turn the corner or look inside the room, I’m scared that I- that you- ugh, god<em>damn it.</em>” he let out a frustrated sigh, sliding closer to her and touching her cheek softly. “I’m terrified that I’m going to see you in danger again. I don’t think I can survive it the second time.”</p>
<p>He dove forward, capturing her lips in another kiss they shared his night. Only this time, the tone of it was entirely different. Gone was the fire, the heat and the lust that had driven them both to pull closer, to have, to own. Now, the need was greater, the desperation was more palpable, and the feelings were overflowing. Each time he leaned into her, she leaned back, until she was lying down with him hovering over her, barely keeping himself balanced on his elbows while her legs were wrapped tightly around his hips and her fingers were tangled in his hair once again.</p>
<p>Their faces were wet with tears, cleansing them of all the stress and anger they held within them. Ethan was the first one to lean away, resting his forehead against her collarbone, eyes still closed, breathing heavily. She stroked his back, basking in the warmth of his body, staring at the ceiling.</p>
<p>“I thought I was going to die in there.” she whispered, not trusting her voice to carry out the words. His entire body stiffened, eyes opening at once, his lips pressed to her skin. “Without telling you how much I need you. How much I want you, right here, by my side.” She lifted his head off her chest, making their eyes meet. “How much I care about you.”</p>
<p>“The moment I saw you in there was possibly the worst thing I could imagine. I’ve told you that before, but I’m never going to stop saying it. I’ve wasted so much time, trying to shield you from me; you and your work. I’ve never stopped to look at <em>us</em>.” He stroked her cheek, his smile full of pain but at the same time, hope. “There aren’t enough words in any language that could possibly express the grief I feel, or the sheer panic that froze me in place when I realized what was happening.” He paused, wiping first hers then his own face, just as a new batch of tears replaced the old one. “I want you to stay with me. I <em>need</em> you, Claire. In any and every way I can get you. I finally understand my feelings. And I won’t deny them anymore. The line is so far back that I don’t even remember what it looks like. You have me. You’ve had me for a long time now.”</p>
<p>She didn’t say a word for a long moment, searching for a confirmation. And she got it. In the way his eyes sparkled with utter happiness. In the way his hold on her never wavered, always believing in her. In the way his body relaxed after he finally told her everything.</p>
<p>Claire smiled so widely that her cheeks begun to hurt a bit, then hauled him onto her, kissing him with wild abandonment. “Let’s not wait for a next disaster to see where this leads us.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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